My Dad's Poem

Here is a poem my Dad wrote for me when I was but a wee little thing. They had just been told by a geneticist that I might have mitochondrial disease, so my mom and dad didn't really know what to think, or how long I might live. Mercifully, the diagnosis did not bear out, and I have lived and grown to be a whopping five-year-old girl!

But the sentiments my daddy shared are special and sweet. They may strike a chord with anyone facing a similar situation.

For Christina

It falls like rain
On the hard winter ground
The hope that was there yesterday
But a memory, or a whisper,
Like a silent breeze, blowing past, and then no more

It is hard to look at her today
Without feeling sadness well up inside
How much longer? I can’t help think
Will we have a year, a month, a week?
For now, so warm, so real,
Lying peacefully in my arms.
But it will be so much different then
When she is gone.

Will I be able to remember the soft touch
Of her tiny shape snuggled in my arms?
The sweet smell of her body, all comfortable and warm
The sounds of her suckling,
As she nurses from the bottle.
Such music to my ears.
But will it soon be gone?
And what am I too remember then?
But a sad sad song.

We had such hopes
For this tiny bundle of joy
To do the normal things, to grow
And enjoy
It wasn’t all that long ago,
That these all seemed so close, so real
Now someone has hung a sheet over our universe
And all we see is through a veil

So many thoughts
My mind drifts here and there
What will never be, what she might never see
No, No, I can’t let it drift there
There’s a monster in those thoughts, waiting to devour me whole
It won’t be satisfied with me, it’ll want my soul
No much better, not to go to that place
Face the day, that’s all, quite enough to embrace


Still there’s a numbness in this place
Where hope crashes against pain
We know so little now,
Yet it’s hard to refrain
From thoughts that plunge off the bitter end
To embrace those never mores.
And to the darkest corner of my being send
To dwell in the darkness off the distant shores.

We have this time to hold her now, to watch her and enjoy
To savor every moment, and drench her in our love
A sweet gift this truly is, one I would not deny
Yet still touched with sorrow, for I know the hour is nigh
When no more will she rest quietly in my arms
She will be at peace
Resting in the Father’s charms

It’s a far far better place
He’ll whisk her off to be
Embraced by our loving saviour
Her pains and cares set out to sea
Her short short life will become a much more glorious thing
Her voice lifted up, and with the angels she’ll sing
And one day, we’ll be with her again
Standing on that glorious shore
I would not trade that for anything
So this pain I will endure

Christina, we love you
Each minute we have left
We’ll try to cherish each and every one
Be they a million, or just a few short score
And then when it’s your time to go,
We’ll miss you, and cry like never before
And go on loving you,
All the more.